Archive for the ‘Feeling’ Category

I slept at 4:20 a.m. yesterday, and weird enough I am very fresh at work this morning. Although I suspect some time later in the afternoon or evening, I will collapse without warning.

Quick feed on others.

  1. Fiza passed her PTD exam and quitted her programming job for a new career in diplomatic.
  2. Alan managed to get 3-year deferment to work in Khazanah instead of working with scholarship sponsor, Telekom.
  3. Yusof got offer from Aseam Banking and now contemplating.
  4. Shahril had just moved to GreenPacket
  5. My sister resigned MIMOS for Sapura (and money).
  6. Countless people getting married !

Life goes on, for others. For me, it has been static, since my graduation a year ago. While I have about 10 hobbies and 10 personal projects to do, these seem small to other life concerns such as career and relationship.

Career and relationship, who say they are important anyway? Everyone? No one?

My biggest question is, can I keep my way of living as a hobbyist, and still stand proud with my successful friends? I dont care about career, only my hobbies. It really troubles me so much seeing them working hard and intelligently for their respective career. And it also embarrasses me a little everytime I say “I think I will stay in this department for a while, wait and see until I know what I really want” whenever people ask me about my career plan.


Few years ago I received a letter from a girl, saying about “us” thing, and how she knew I would be someone big and successful in the future. The letter was signed “You Know Who I Am”. Guess what? I never knew who she was. Well … that was about five years ago, and I could be excused for ignorance and insensitivity perhaps.

Haha, my case is so sad. Every time I talk about love and relationship, I based it on occasions happened five, six years ago.

Am I thinking too much? I remember something I learn from briefly browsing a motivational book by Lance Armstrong, cancer survivor who went on to win Le Tour de France 5 times in a row.

We will all die. If you know that, everything else does not matter

I will stay as a hobbyist. If I fail in life, there always be cool computer games and Internet to stay happy to the grave.


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When I was 16, I was a prefect in a boarding school, and I shared the cubicle with another friend Faizul Rizam. Together we look after The Pavilion where students from Mohd Shah House resided.

We were not close at all. At one time, we even stopped talking to each other. Perhaps it was because of our very different personalities.

  • He loved listening to Cromox and Butterfingers whereas I loved listening to Siti Nurhaliza : Adiwarna
  • He loved playing guitar, whereas I loved doing useless things like juggling and balancing chair on my chin.
  • He was clean and messy, I was messy and clean. (not sharing similar attitude at same time)
  • He was “cool” with smokers and rule-breakers, I was super-strict with duty above everything else.

Well, although not being very close to each other, he managed to impart wisdom to me, which was a golden advice on how to choose a girlfriend.

Always prioritize good look and body shape over good attitude. Attitude can be changed but looks cant.

 However when I told this to my other friend, she said “Yeah right. When your partner is annoying like mine, you wont care how she looks anymore”.

Who is true?

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Jeongju, here I come

The are three things I absolutely cannot do. Music, arts and lucky draw.

I never won any lucky draws. I think I actually won once, but left my ticket at home, so I couldn’t claim the prize. That made me even unluckier than not winning at all 😦 .


I think I am actually very lucky for being able to earn. For example,

I HAD JUST WON A TRIP TO JEONGJU, KOREA 🙂 🙂 🙂 Being placed second in today’s Go tournament for selection after losing to Boon Ping in the final. Luckily Korea invite two players 🙂

Quite happy right now. Another trip won. If things go well, this year I’ll be going to Japan, China and Korea.

It’s just that, I dont know who to share my happiness with…

Before the tournament, I went there for lunch. Choosing my seat carefully,  I could watch her working for far, doing some sort of auditing for the restaurant. I held my The Edge newspaper up, glancing at her from time to time.

 Is this love? I dont know, but beautiful feeling it is certainly.

Problem is, a girl like her certainly deserves a kind, honest and virtuous man and I am nowhere near that.

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Public Apology

For 2 months I lived without TVFor 2 months I lived without clean water

For 2 months I slept on sofa

For 2 months I drove through Jalan Kuching

For 2 months I lived without refrigerator

For 2 months I had to wake up early in fear of traffic jam

I’m supposed to move into a new place later today. Current place is OK. I could actually stuff it with refrigerator, TV and use the real bed in the store room. But knowing that I would move one day, I didn’t. As a result, I spent 2 months already being an unhappy person.

Well the damage is done. As I said in previous blog, even my senior colleague detected I was unhappy and thought it was due to my job. Well it’s not. Although my job doesn’t enthuse me too much too.

One thing I regret, it affected my daily mood too much that I missed so many of my friends’ weddings.

Sorrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyy !!!!!

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I woke up 45 minutes later than usual. Panicking a little, I got myself showered and dressed and got myself on the road by 6:40 a.m. Too late. Traffic’s already heavy 😦

Not the start of the day that I dream of. Today must be SAD, SAD and SAD.

In fact today is SAD or Singles Awareness Day. I’ve heard of this before as a complement to Valentine’s Day, but then I was unaware of its humourous acronym. Thanks to Wikipedia, now I know.

Being single is not bad. The best part is I can spend my money and time the way I like it. This is a huge plus. Being a man who loves to do so many things and also loves everything Sony, I am comfortable in being single.

But since recently, the comfort is being challenged. And the cause, is a girl who serves in Secret Recipe named Farah. At first, I tried to brush aside any feeling for her by joking to myself ,

She is far, ah. Cannot reach for sure.

But then, I realised I was already 25. I couldn’t afford to resign so easily. So here I brainstorm, “What are the things you can say to the waiter at Secret Recipe that you like?”

  1. “So, you get to eat free prawn macaroni and cheese for lunch every time?”

Mental block. Cant think of any except that very lame one.

😦 Now I’m not only aware that I am single, but also WHY so.

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Rethinking strategy

Technology sure is amazing. Especially when you can still listen to the car radio when the antenna looks like that.


Yay … I managed to live a perfect day, in terms of personal discipline 🙂 Woke up early morning, and even had time to jog for 3 km before going for work.

And at work, I didnt online chat as I always did, except for few SMS sessions 🙂

Problem is,  I cant maintain this, I know for sure. I’m already burnt out for today and it’s only 7 pm. Now I have headache 😦

I need to rethink my strategy for a successful “Age 25”.

They say,

Behind every successful man, there is a woman.

So should I get a girlfriend first before any other thing?

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